Monday, January 09, 2012

it drives me nuts (non-political edition)

So, fretting about the upcoming expiration (2030) of their lucrative 'Porgy and Bess' copyright, the Gershwin heirs are prepping a new edition of the classic 'opera' (don't get me started), where they've 'trimmed' it by nearly half (I suppose because today's potential customers have a limited attention span) and (here's what drives me nuts) added a 'reconciliation scene' at the end.

Why stop there, I ask?  Why not:
  1. Casablanca:  Rick shoots Victor and heads to America with Ilsa and Captain Renault, licking his lips.
  2. Gone with the Wind:  Rhett and Scarlett are off to Atlanta, planning to open a lucrative urban-renewal business.
  3. The Ten Commandments:  Moses enters the Promised Land and has his thugs 'take care of' that upstart Joshua.
  4. Citizen Kane:  'Rosebud' turns out to be Kane's favorite beer, which restores him to a happy life (product placements having been cleverly inserted throughout the film).
  5. Old Yeller:  Fully recovers and learns new tricks.
Other suggestions?

1 comment:

Liz Schwartz said...

you forgot Romeo and Juliet: Friar Laurence gives them fake poison, they wake up, run off to Rome, buy a split-level and live happily ever after...until they divorce a few years later and have a pitched custody battle over their pet Labradoodle...