my Rabbi Stampher story

I grew up in a little town in Upstate New York, where my traditionally-Conservative Jewish upbringing defined my family life.  I moved to Portland in 1977 and was absolutely unaffiliated with any Jewishness for a few years.

In 1984, I met Karen, who grew up in a home that was definitely culturally Jewish (her mother's first cousin was choreographer Jerome Robbins - think 'Fiddler on the Roof') but they were not especially observant.

When she became pregnant in 1985 and we decided to get married, I knew that my Mother would appreciate a real Jewish wedding, so we set out to find a rabbi who would do what needed to be done.

Our first visit was to the esteemed rabbi of the major Reformed temple, who received us graciously in their imposing stained-glass sanctuary, and described a lovely possible scene, with music, flowers, etc. "Just one thing," he added at the end. "I insist you join this congregation."

It was not unreasonable, I suppose, but when we said we hadn't planned to make a commitment along those lines, he very quickly said basically, "then I cannot do anything for you." and we were dismissed.

Someone (no idea who) suggested we speak with Rabbi Stampher at Neveh Shalom.  He received us in his office, listened to our story, and said "I'm happy to do it".  He officiated for us, at Karen's cousin's house, with our parents, relatives, and Mrs. Stampher present.  He provided the Chupa and a blank Ketubah, I gratefully handed him a 'contribution' and that was that.

Years passed - during most of that time, I had no further contact with Neveh Shalom, as we eventually joined Havurah Shalom (Reconstructionist).  Now, however, I accompany the choir at Neveh Shalom, and our rehearsals each week are held in the 'Stampher chapel'.

He passed away just shy of 98 a couple of days ago, and is being remembered across Portland as one of the leading figures of Jewish life in this town. 

In all the years since our wedding, I spoke to him just one more time.

One day in the late 1990's, I happened to see him at the JCC, for some long-forgotten event.  I went up to him and said, "Rabbi, you certainly don't remember me, but you married me and my wife many years ago.  I just wanted you to know that our son, Ben, is currently studying for his Bar Mitzvah."

He paused, smiled, and gently said to me, "you made my day".
 

Thoughts on 'Yesterday'

Last night, we went to the (relatively) new film 'Yesterday'.  We had seen the trailer some months ago, so I knew the premise, and, in fact, I had (unfortunately) recently read a review that revealed a secret.  Karen had not.

There were some major plot elements that violate the rules of 'what if?' movies, and, if you give them too much thought, negated and conflicted with other plot elements.  Still, it's only a movie, so best not to nit-pick the details too closely.

The script is quite clever in a number of details, which produced in the audience the expected chuckles.  Interesting to have a main character that you both sympathized with (what a dilemma!) and regretted his fundamental dishonesty.

Ed Sheeran, Kate McKinnon, and other supporting players gave very good performances.  Lots of laughs in those scenes.

The expected final scenes, of course, redeemed him and we assumed 'they lived happily ever after', since the film-makers decided, ultimately, that this is a Romantic Comedy, not an absorbing sci-fi puzzle, a la 'Inception'. 


But, for people who were alive 1962-1970, it's all about Those Songs. During the film, they were all performed by the guy, but it was genuinely moving to have the original 'Hey Jude' play, in its entirety, over the closing credits.  We stayed until the very last note.

I can't imagine viewing this film from the perspective of anyone born after 1972. How could they possibly understand what The Beatles meant to Boomers, where we lived, in Real Time, the whole astounding journey from 'Love Me Do' to 'Golden Slumbers'?

And now to deal with The Secret.   Last warning: SPOILER COMING!

Let's be clear - the scene makes no sense, given the basic premise of the film.

When the door to that farmhouse opened, I gasped, and then watched Karen gasp. The impact of that scene stayed with me for hours and, even now, the next morning, I feel it.

I am still filled with quiet gratitude that we have been given the sublime gift of a few minutes with our old friend, John.

It was a reminder that, although we lost something profound all those years ago, sometimes you get a chance to get back to where you once belonged.

Story idea

I had an idea this morning, for a science-fiction short story, which could be developed into a summer blockbuster film.  The trigger was an NPR segment about fish biologists in Washington (State), who are in a fairly desperate battle to prevent the highly-invasive Northern Pike from getting past Grand Coulee Dam, and thus into the entire downstream salmon eco-system, which the Pike would dominate and destroy.

But first, some background.

After my 4+ years with Enron Broadband fizzled into PTSD in 2001 (you may have seen the movie and followed the fraud trials), I experienced yet another in a life-long series of lucky breaks, and found myself under contract with The Nature Conservancy, developing an Invasive Weeds Monitoring database, from a stub that an Idaho biologist had begun.

Over the next few years, as the application grew (eventually attaining some modest success in the Invasives community), I learned a lot about the effects of invasive species, and the various methods that biologists have concocted to, if not control, at least to mediate their shocking effectiveness in destroying existing systems.

Among those tactics are simply physically removing the bad plants, or introducing 'biological controls' (i.e. another species that eats the bad guys).

So, here's my story idea (for which I make no claim to originality).

Imagine a person (could be male or female, but since I'm pitching this, he's a guy).  He's a totally average human, in any 'developed' country.  He is moderately comfortable and successful, according to the norms of the local culture.  He is politically aware and involved, recycles as much as his abilities (and current market conditions) permit, and considers himself reasonably well-informed on science and history.

He has contributed to Jay Inslee's presidential campaign (too topical?), because he agrees that Climate Disruption is the central issue of his time, and that all other current issues (such as day-to-day political nonsense) are trivial compared with the potential for, shall we say, significant disruptions to continuing to enjoy a comfortable and fulfilling life for billions of people.

Then, one morning, he realizes that His species, humans, are Earth's primary Invasive Species, and that a Greater Intelligence is now determined to use whatever it can muster to, shall we say, remediate the threat.  Chaos ensues.

Having difficulty envisioning a Sequel, but the cast will definitely be smaller.

random events that ripple across time

When my wife and her brother were somewhere in adolescence, they stumbled on a document that made them realize that BOTH their father and mother had had prior marriages.  This was a complete surprise to them.

We know a little about my father-in-law's first wife.  She was a holocaust survivor named Maely - they divorced in the mid-1940's, without children.

She subsequently married and divorced former child-actor Freddie Bartholomew, and moved at one point to Harlem, where she became good friends with Billie Holiday.

She ended up married to a writer named William Dufty, with whom she had (and raised) a son. Based on his wife's first-hand knowledge, William Dufty got interested in Billie Holiday and subsequently wrote the book "Lady Sings The Blues".

Implications of all this, if my father-in-law had had a happy first marriage:

* I would not be living in this house, for the past 27 years
* our two cats and the dog would not be sleeping upstairs
* my two boys would not exist
* Diana Ross's film career would have been different

There's probably more.