why I'm not concerned about Global Warming

Today's headline confirms what I've long been thinking, about the condition of my home planet, in the years after (I hope) I am no longer able to report in person.  Here it is:

‘We’ll Have To Develop Those Weapons’:

 Trump Says US Will Pull Out Of Nuke Pact

In a nut-shell (me being the head nut around here), the argument goes like this (no claim to originality made):

• global warming is real (spoiler) and will escalate, as currently predicted
• nobody in 'authority' will ever do anything meaningful about curbing carbon emissions
• increasing weather and food-production disruptions will continue, eventually causing full-scale human migration
• Europe will, unfortunately, bear the largest immediate burden, since people can walk/boat there from most of the newly-uninhabitable places
• Europe's history of meaningful, altruistic cooperation (irony alert) among its various governments and ethnic communities will insure large-scale human conflicts
• The world's scientists will convene, in emergency mode, to announce a massive, global geo-engineering solution.  The proposed approach, on cable news, will be rejected as being bad for business (not to mention, shall we say, risky).  Pundits on all sides of the question will get plenty of work.  Time will pass.
• Someone, somewhere will explode the first nuclear device, and it's July/August 1914 again.

By the time the (nuclear) dust settles down (5-10 years?), the polar ice-caps will begin to rebuild (perhaps never again to Ice Age levels).  The Earth's human population, now in numbers and culture reduced to that depicted in Game of Thrones, muddles thru, their capacity to burn massive amounts of carbon now effectively curtailed for at least a century (perhaps more, but One Never Knows).  There is a newly-energized, small priestly class, who zealously guard the secrets of magnetism and electricity, although they continue to be mystified by VHS tape.

Meanwhile, the tiny colony on Mars will just accept that the WiFi from Earth is temporarily down, and that the normal shipments of ramen noodles and canned tuna will be delayed.  Fortunately, thanks to a recent movie, there are plenty of potatoes (but no ketchup). 

Back on Earth, President-for-Eternity Donald Trump (kept permanently alive in an undisclosed location, or so they say) claims that only he could have ever solved the Global Warming problem, and he urges all Followers to continue hunting Democrats.

The End

PS:  I could be wrong.  Don't forget to vote.

Hell's Kitchen

Two celebrity chefs announce an upcoming dinner party, to be held at a fancy rented hall.

A large number of the invitees remind the chefs that they simply cannot eat anything with cream, cheese or butter.

Two days before the dinner, the chefs announce their custom-crafted menu, and every course has cream, cheese, or butter.  The dairy-free group says, "can't you do a couple of dishes separately?', the chefs say "sorry, no substitutions", and the dairy-free group says, "well, there's no reason for us to attend".

The two celebrity chefs (let's call them Chef Paul and Chef Mitch) announce to their entire Social Network that a minority of their invited guests have ruined their dinner party by being absolutely unwilling to compromise, and they plan to repeat the same scenario in four weeks.


MORAL:  Beware, or the owners of the rented hall will get frustrated and burn it down.