from Andy Borowitz today

Kerry Botches 'Yo Mama' Joke
Omits Words 'Mama' and 'Yo' in West Point Appearance

Sen. John Kerry (D-Mass) found himself in the middle of another botched joke controversy today as the 2004 Democratic nominee for president misread a classic "yo mama" joke while making a speech to military cadets at West Point.

After his failed attempt at humor one week before the midterm elections, many observers assumed that the Massachusetts senator would retire from the comedy field once and for all. But according to one of Mr. Kerry's aides, the former Democratic standard-bearer was determined to prove "just how funny he really can be."

Mr. Kerry decided to leave nothing to chance in his latest attempt at comedy, however, choosing a time-tested joke in the "yo mama" format and having it written on a large cue card which an aide held aloft just yards away from the podium.

According to the plan, the Massachusetts senator was to entertain the cadets by saying, "Yo mama so stupid, it take her an hour to cook Minute Rice."

But inexplicably, Mr. Kerry decided to depart from his prepared remarks and instead told the cadets, "You're so stupid, you're going to wind up stuck in Iraq."

According to a new Newsweek poll, a majority of Americans want Mr. Kerry to get out of comedy altogether.